I had a most charming Packett from you and my young Correspondents, to day.
I am very happy, to learn that you have done such great Things in the Way of paying Debts. I know not what would become of me, and mine, if I had not such a Friend to take Care of my Interests in my absence.

This is an excerpt from a letter written in 1777 from John Adams to Abigail. They spent many years apart during their marriage, and their correspondences are very endearing to me because writing is my primary means of communication with my own husband who is nearing the end of his deployment. Coincidentally, when I first read this passage, I received an e-mail from my husband thanking me for a care package that we had sent to him and thanking me for taking care of the bills and other business while he is away.

My husband has told me on numerous occasions that reading e-mails from me and receiving packages in the mail encourages him tremendously. We have started a tradition that I write an e-mail to him at least once a day so that he can read about what we are doing here at home. I have discovered that it’s not just the mundane details about our day that thrill him, though. He loves the fact that I am thinking about him and am willing to put forth the effort to maintain communication with him on a regular basis.

One of the most important things to remember when communicating with your deployed spouse (or other family members) is that their days are often filled with stressful events and tasks. They are also likely to be short on precious sleep. If you are able to speak on the phone or via video conference, fill your conversations with encouraging words and listen actively to whatever they have to say without judgment. It is not easy for us at home to imagine what it is like to be in such a hostile environment unless we have been there ourselves.

Your loved one will appreciate the love you give them, whether it is a box of cookies, a thoughtful note, a child’s drawing or a few minutes on the phone. If you do not have a spouse or family member who is currently deployed, you can be a blessing to a service member who is overseas and may not have a spouse or family supporting them from home. There are many organizations who organize care package drives for soldiers or facilitate for individuals to adopt soldiers.

NB: Letter excerpt from My Dearest Friend: Letters of John and Abigail Adams, edited by Margaret A. Hogan and C. James Taylor, published by The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2007, p 182